Nobody is Perfect

Some of the motherhood blogs I love most have mothers that tell it like it is, and I'm going to try and do the same. Telling of all the good warm and fuzzy events is easy, but it is a challenge to tell of your faults, so that is what I'm challenging myself to do this morning.

I've been a stay at home mother for 3 years now, and I'm nowhere close to perfecting this most important job. I find myself getting irritated easily on those "bad days," sometimes a lot of times, I feel myself being lazy with my household duties (washing clothes, scrubbing floors, dusting, etc),

some nights I don't feel like fixing dinner! There are some days where I'm in a funk and I allow my children to watch movies all day long so I can find peace in my brain, so I can Be. Still. Sometimes I don't want to entertain my kids, I do think that I'm hard on my children sometimes, so am I a bad mother?

I'm the kind of person who also feels just horrible for all the above mentioned. I reevaluate, ponder, guilt, guilt some more, and really try to come up with a better plan for me to be a better mother.

However, the more I think about these things, I also think that some of the above is okay too.  Being a mother has taught me great patience, and according to my Mother I have much more than she did, I still feel like I have a low patience meter reading on some days. This is one thing I would love to improve upon. When I sit down and wonder why am I being so inpatient? The reason is completely selfish. Normally it is because I stayed up way to late the night before, I'm in one of those lazy mood days, I haven't gotten up and walked in the morning, the house is a mess, and my list of "to-dos" is just WAY to long! Is that my kids' fault? No. It is mine. This is where the guilt starts eating away at me. SNAP OUT OF IT AMBER! Get your rear in gear and get stuff done, then you can be less stressed and focus on playing, imagining, loving on your children all day long!

Much easier to say then do. Being a SAHM (stay at home mother) is also a monotonous job (this is why I hated working retail). Same jobs to be done day in and day out. Wash, dust, clean, tidy....wash, dust, clean, tidy...you get the picture. So. Some days I allow myself to let things slip. Everyone needs a break right? At the exact same time I'm finding reasons it is okay, I also know in the back of my head leaving work for today will make me grumpy tomorrow because I have more to do than I want. LOL....a vicious cycle, one I want to correct!

I love to cook dinner. I really do! There are nights that I just don't, and that is okay too. No one ever died from having a bowl of cereal for dinner. I refuse to feel bad about this, so I won't, I just wanted to tell it like it is on this one.

Entertaining my children. I do feel bad about this one. I often think I need to read more, play more, draw more, pretend more, with my kids. On the other hand however, I think it is a good thing that I don't do this with them all the time either. I believe it is important for children to use their imagination on their own. It is good for them to look at books and come up with their own story, but sometimes I don't do a very good job facilitating these things. Now, if I can do better on the above mentioned, I also believe I'll be a better mother in all areas.

Erma Bombeck on Motherhood:

I loved you enough to ask about where you were going, with whom and what time you would get home

I loved you enough to insist that you buy a bike, that we could afford to give you, but with your own money

I loved you enough to make you return a Milky-Way— with a bite out of it—to the drug store and to confess “I stole this."

I loved you enough to stand over you for two hours while you cleaned your room, a job that would have taken me 15 minutes

I loved you enough to let you see anger, disappointment, disgust and tears in my eyes

I loved you enough to admit I was wrong and ask for your forgiveness

I loved you enough to let you stumble, fall and hurt

But most of all, I loved you enough to say NO when you hated me for it. That was the hardest part of all!

            Does anyone else out there feel this way or have felt this way? What were some things you did to correct yourself if you believed your actions needed to be corrected. Advice? I am a good person, I'm a loving person, I adore my children and am madly in love with my husband. I love staying at home and resisting the over played hustle and bustle that a lot of mothers fall victims to, in the end I love being at home and doing the monotonous work in lieu of being in the business world! I really do. I just thought I'd share some of my most inner thoughts with the world to help keep me accountable for what I would like to change about myself.

A Little Bit of Everything

Ready to get down to business! 

I Don't Know About This Mommy...

What a HUGE surprise it was to me when he was fully potty trained by the third day! Amazing! We still haven't gotten through the night yet, but are well on our way. There have been no accidents for about a week now and that is surely impressive. He has taken to the potty like a champ. He loves his big boy undies, gives an ear to ear smile after he's done with some high 5's, and can't wait to flush and wash his hands all by himself. Another out of diapers is a great accomplishment, especially when they run you $21 for a box for 76 diapers. I can only hope Caroline will be just as eager to wear some princess undies to get her going. :o)

Homemade Peach Pie Helpers

Goobers

They were so proud helping to make the peach pie! Samuel couldn't wait to eat a piece, and was allowed to stay up about 45 minutes past his bedtime to enjoy in his work. Peach pie in a bowl, half-n-half, with a little scoop of vanilla ice cream while the pie is warm....HEAVEN! I forgot to take a picture of the final product but it sure looked pretty.

Helping Mommy Knit

Grandma, you didn't know two gals made your dish clothes with love now did ya? I was lucky I didn't have to fight through a huge knotted mess, but the girl had fun.

Not Sure About This Face?

So Innocent...

Lookie at my New Trick!

Daddy and Samuel Having Fun With Camera

My Babes

Other big news? Not much to report actually. With all the rain moving through, something has blown in throwing my sinuses into a MAJOR funk. :-/ Can't say I'm too thrilled about that. This morning I broke out the saline rinse and I need to make a run to the store for my sinus relief medication. My garden continues to be fruitful and beautiful! The weather is beautiful and awful all at the same time; 97 degree weather with a humidity level in the hundreds is not my ideal type of weather. I can deal with the heat but the humidity just stinks. 

Lately I've been getting plenty of exercise around the house chasing after my stinking fast water bug scooting across the floor. Now that she can pull up to things, I've found my magazines and books on the floor on more than one occasion. Her little smile with two pearly whites peaking through are just too much to resist! 

Samuel is super excited because we got him into pre-school for this upcoming year! He'll do great with all the other kids. His favorite thing lately is working in is pre-school workbook we bought him, and he is obsessed with Doodle Jump on Grandma's iPod, and now Daddy's iPod. The other day he scored over 21K points!! There was a bit of an obsession and that had to be broke. It wasn't pretty, a little bit of bratinsky came out, very very ugly, but I am pleased to tell you all he is back to sweet old Sam! ;-) Doodle jump is only played sparingly now and for small periods of time. 

Isaac is getting into playing more with "super heros" (Kinex little figures) with his brother, and loves loves loves cars. He has a little more stubborn in him that I'd like, but his snuggleness still overpowers the big boy he is slowing turning into. 

Summer is flying bye just as I expected it would, and a small bit of me can't wait for the crispness in the air with Fall approaching, but for now I'm enjoying today, enjoying summer, enjoying swimming and popsicles and our game called "corn hole or bags" depending on where you come from. So. Enjoy your moment, enjoy your upcoming weekend, and if you have some free time browse around my Etsy Shop for some early Christmas gift ideas. :o) 

Peace~

Amber

Beefcake and Taters

I told myself that we would start the potty training saga soon, but I am such a lazy mother when it comes to potty training! Sure I would love for him to be out of diapers, for more reasons than one, but at the same time do I really feel like cleaning up messes when I'm running around after a very mobile 10 mo. old? Yeah. Not really. *sigh* Last week I thought I would give Isaac a taste of how cool it would be, and how much better it would feel, if he agreed, to wear some big boy undies in hopes he would potty train himself. No such luck yet, but I will never get tired of these:

My sweet little Beefcake!

Aren't those the cutes Elmo buns you've ever seen? :o) I'm sure Isaac will appreciate these pictures some day....but such a stud-muffin!

For those of you craving some sweet little girl pictures I've got some for ya. Now that my gurl has some teeth and is ready to have some table food, we found that mashed taters are a favorite! Daddy couldn't shovel them in her "ready to go birdie mouth" fast enough, and temper tantrums would follow letting him know so! I decided, sure, what the heck? A plop of taters, right in front of her on the highchair...boy did she go to town!

Love me some taters!

Happy Hump-Day!

Cheers~

Amber

How Do I Remember?

This morning I was reminded of 'time' when I was reading Clover Lane. Now, my entire day will be washed clean by the tears I find to cry at the simplest of things. If you feel like you need a tear-jerker her post will help, and I'm afraid what I'm going to write is extremely sentimental to me. That is my warning to you before you read my post and Clover Lane.

How do I remember? I want to vividly remember everything about my babies! I mean, isn't that part of talking yourself into moving out of the baby stage and into the bigger kid phase; by tricking yourself into the fact that you'll remember exactly how that fat precious face felt against yours or how those tiny fingers grasped onto yours so tightly?

Oh how I want to remember... but I suppose the cruel reality is that I won't. Time will pass and those tender feeling memories will eventually fade. I guess that's why becoming a Grandmother is such a wonderful gift to be given; you get to hold a precious baby again, press that chunky face next to yours, feel that tiny grasp around your finger, inhale that wonderful infant smell, give eskimo kisses to that tiny button nose, and snuggle all of that wonderfulness close to your heart for a second time.

I'm not there yet! Each day makes my babes a little bit older, a little bit ready to explore on their own, and me a little bit more ready to have a 4th baby. I just can't talk myself out of the baby phase yet, and luckily I don't have to, being almost 27 I have time on my side and against me all at the same time. What happens after the fourth, I ask myself? What will I feel when that baby starts to grow old? Will I continue to feel this way? I wanted to be done with children by the time I was 30, but how do I know that I won't continue having this exact same feeling I'm having now? I tell myself that eventually everyone HAS to stop having babies, but I'm just not ready. I want to have that memory of an infant so close to me I can feel it. (I'm chasing one around the house as I write this even). :o)

Can you remember this face when you were feeding your sweet baby? 

My hopes are that when I look back on this picture I'll remember that exact moment. That special moment I was sharing with my daughter as I was rocking her while she ate her ba-ba, where she looked up into my eyes,  and my heart melted in her hands. Technologic advancement isn't all bad. Cameras, video recorders, even iPhones give us the ability to capture all of those moments to help us freeze time and even if just for a moment re-live the past. I'm sure as my children grow older and older I'll be very appreciative of all this, more so than I do now. It helps us remember...

I'll always remember won't I? 

Toy Story 3

When was the last time you went to a movie at the theaters? It doesn't happen often here at the Kellen household for Joel and I let alone taking the kids. It's a shame that something so fun has gotten outrageously expensive! At $10 a pop per person that adds up, and yes I'm one of those people that sneak in treats to prevent spending $4.75 for small box of M&M's when I can buy an entire bag at Target for under $4. I do have a weakness at the movies though, and that is nachos! Ugh. So no matter what some cash is laid down for AMC indulgences. They have done an excellent job by the way of revamping the "movie goodies" section. Not only can you buy your traditional M&M's, Twizzlers, Jr. Mints, etc. but now you have the option of specialty chocolates, lattes, UNO's Pizza, chicken tenders, french fries, cheese sticks, ice cream, beer, wine...on and on. I tell you what though. I wouldn't mind getting away from all of the "extras" and heading out to a good ole' fashion drive in where you can bring your own cooler of goodies for 3x the cost. So, summer bucket list, to the drive in we go!

Pictures from Toy Story 3/ 3D

The Boys Loved it, and I did too!

Isaac has a bit of Ray Charles going on in this one. lol.

Happy Summer!

Cheers~

Amber

Friday Fun Day

Don't ya just love Fridays? Today we went to a water splash park with our neighbor friends and had a great time! Plus the mommies get to tan...without even having to 'try' which I like even more. :o)

Samuel is getting too big!

Isaac has no trouble jumping into the fun...

Isaac's swimsuit model pose, LOL.

Oh come on! You know you are wanting to go buy some Tommy swimsuit attire now.

I want to kiss that precious chunky face ALL over!

Can you see that little tooth poking through?

Brother and Sissy enjoying the baby fountain

Feeling her first tooth!

Now the mommy needs a little R&R....come on 8:30 bedtimes. ;-)

A Mother's Thoughts and Ramblings

It can be scary raising children can't it? For that matter it can be scary to go through life as adults let alone raising decent children in the process. The process of raising decent, caring, honest, humble children is a monumental task. I don't think a lot of parents out there understand the difference in "helping" and "crippling" their children. Todays world, expressed in books, magazines, TV, and even movies all tell us to hold our children's hands for so long, that now "adults" from 21 to, even more scary, 30+ are living at home with their parents.

You can no longer get an apartment right out of high school at age 18, you can't even get a checking account without a cosigner. What is happening?! Forget about taking out your own student loans too, even the way our government has set things up helps to cripple our children. You don't want student loans? Well what is the big deal with 'working' your way through college? For some reason, most folks these days think it is a race to get through school. It IS okay to only take as many classes that you can pay for. Isn't that better than rushing through school getting some degree that you won't end up using? Yes. I have many, many people I know that this has happened to. What a waste of time, effort, and money.  Instead parents say....oh no...I don't want you to work while you are going to school...going to school is your full time job. HA, this is probably part of the issue with Americans struggling with time management and good work ethic! A person isn't any more or any less based on if they have gone to college. There are many ways to make money, and they don't all deal with getting a college degree! Having one will probably make things a bit easier, but not necessarily make you more money or make you more happy. I guess that is all I'll say about that.

Isn't our jobs as parents suppose to include teaching them to leave home and find their own way? Obviously we all love the journey with our children, and our hearts hurt as each one flies the coupe, but that is the end goal isn't it? I mean, if your child can leave home, figure it all out, be self sufficient/contributing citizens, and be successful (however it is you measure success), shouldn't that be as proud of a moment as it was seeing your new baby for the first time? For me, that would mean I did a job well done.  

What happened to feeling pride that you can do it on your own, proud that you don't need your parent's money to get you by, proud that you are 'actually' an adult rather than 'pretending' to play the part?  Don't get me wrong, there were plenty of times that I used to think it was bogus that I had to work to pay for my extracurricular activities with my friends, paying for my own car insurance, gas, issues with my car, special shampoo I wanted, etc. Other kids didn't have to do that....then I went into the Navy. All by myself. No hands to hold, shoulders to cry on, not even Mom and Dad's house to stay in. Five years later once that commitment was done there are STILL people I know that have their parents pay for their cell phone service, dish out money if they are in a bind, move back home....are you kidding me?! There was an article in a newspaper the other day that my cousin posted on Facebook that had a woman quote, "My mother got married when she was 24 and she said it was hard work, and that it would be better for me to wait until I was in my 30's before I got married." Yes. Heaven forbid you work hard on your marriage (or for anything else for that matter) before you are 30! Wake up call! Marriage is hard work no matter what age you enter into it at, and you know what, this world isn't always fair. That is as much of an important lesson to learn as individuals as it is knowing when it is okay to ask for help.

As parents we want to be one step ahead of anything that could hurt our children, to prevent the nicks and bruises, so that we don't have to see the tears of our children; although as hard as it might be....we would be doing a disservice to our children if we didn't let them make their own mistakes and see and deal with the repercussions that are to follow their actions. The reason you see children/'adults' these days that are being coddled it isn't the kids' fault, it is the parents. Parents are teaching their children to run back to them when they are in a bind, and you know what I think that also shows some disrespect towards the parents, that are undoubtedly helping to manifest. I've read some blogs lately, Clover Lane and Views from my Kitchen Sink that have addressed some of the same things. (These blogs are a must read and are a couple of my very favorites!) There is a huge lack of respect with children and their parents these days and I'm doing everything I can to help NOT contribute to that growing problem. Manners are used in our home, polite tones are used while speaking to us, chores are done, and if they aren't there are proper punishments to follow. 

Call me old fashioned or a strict witch, but I love my children enough to say NO, and I'm so glad that my Mom and Dad did too!

PART 2: KEEPING IT SIMPLE

Simple ways I fear are long gone. I'm too young to remember shops being closed down on Sundays, but I wish this was still the case. I wish work was regarded as it is in Europe. I wish the way of living wasn't made into a "live to work" life but rather encouraged to be a "work to live" way of life. Running after that extra buck isn't always the way to go. Extra work also comes extra stress, extra efforts on your body to remain healthy, lack of time with your family, and a lack in remembering what it's like to enjoy just sitting on your porch watching the clouds pass by and the trees blow in the wind.

Speaking of porches, the day on my morning walk with Bailey Boy I saw a great screened in porch that was completely ruined by noticing they had a TV out there. Come on! Are we so consumed in mindless television that we can't even escape it long enough to sit on the porch in peace to listen to the sweet songs of birds? Such a pity really.

PART 3: KIDS

And for those of you who really could care less in my interpretation of how the world has gone astray (and that is perfectly ok) here are some recent pictures of the kiddos on Sam's birthday enjoying the Slip-N-Slide and other randomness. :o)

Samuel's Turn!

This Can't Be Good....

Move Isaac, MOVE!!

That. Just. Happened!

(no children were injured in this process) :o)

My Bathing Beauty

LOVE Those Bunners!

Love From Great Grandma Roddy

Cheers~

Amber

What to Say?

Can a mother ever run out of things to say about their children? Surely not. I'm still trying to figure out why it has been taking me so long to post something new. Sure, it's summer time and I try not to be so much of an internet junkie, but something has to come to me. Anyone can post how wonderful their children are, how smart they might be, their funny personalities....does that ever get old to anyone? So if I'm not going to write about that, what is there to write about? I'm still thinking on it. Check back later.

~Amber