Wednesday, May 19, 2010

Birthday Boy Samuel


I'm not quite sure what words I can put together to express the amount of love your daddy and I have for you.

Saying your funny, sweet, athletic, and full of life, doesn't quit cut the mustard.

Samuel, you have brought so much joy into my life and my heart. You were my first born

and what a ride we took, baby and mommy (all 9 months), to be able to spend all our lives together, learning from each other. I was so afraid that my shoulder surgery had harmed you in some developmental way I was sick with worry. Look at you now! Eating us out of house and home at the age of 4, and hitting a baseball like you are a second grader,

picking up phrases and expressing them at most inopportune times,

you are now a full fledged little boy. The only thing that still resembles my baby and toddler are those hands and arms. I look at where the two come together and still see a "pop-it-bead" and it makes me smile. In that small instant where my eyes meet that spot, I can feel you snuggled in my arms again as if you were a baby.

This picture makes me smile too! LOL. We told you to be careful of the cactus, and 2 minutes later Auntie Meeghan and I were pulling spines out of your buns. :o)

Did you realize that you mean the world to more than just mommy and daddy? You have already made a huge impact on so many people!

I thought that I had so much to offer you, but really, you have so much to offer me. You have taught me a great deal of patience, compassion, overwhelming love, devotion, how to keep going even when you don't want to, a little more patience... :o) Everyday I learn something new, and a new way to love you a little bit more. You bring so much brightness to our home and day to day lives nothing would be able to replace it.

I feel bad because I don't know that I took advantage of treasuring every waking moment with you when you were little; don't misunderstand I loved my baby more than anything, but as parents you don't really understand until the time has gone, more brothers and sisters have come along, and then it hits you hard; time doesn't wait, it keeps moving just as before and all too soon our babies are grown and going off to school.
I was stressed from the Navy,

my health, full-time school, and being newly married all at the same time. I loved on you, kissed you, cuddled you, wrapped you, rocked you, fed you, bathed you,

played with you, and watched you sleep. I loved every moment! At that same time I was wishing time to go by faster so my time in the Navy would come to an end, and in that wishing, I don't know that I soaked everything up as much as I should have. Time always feels like an eternity when you are in the moment, to find that it is just a minuscule amount of time after it has all passed.

Every day you amaze me with something new in your demeanor, with what you say, how your rationalize, how you crush a ball, the pictures you draw, or the books you "read", and by the independence you are showing. All evidence of growing up and there is nothing I can do about it.

In losing the time I had with you then, it can always be with me in photos, video, memory, and my heart.

I miss my sweet little baby but am looking forward to all the great memories and fun that are ahead of us. Good or bad you are in my blood and together we'll get through it all! You are my precious Samuel Robert!

Love with All my Heart~


Anonymous said...

Ok, that was an incredible post! I am sitting here bawling. He has grown up so fast. Four years old- how is that possible? I'll never forget the day that he was born, the day I became a grandma. I was so relieved that he was alright, but I was really relieved "my baby" was alright! To watch you mother your children is an amazing gift. It's not an easy job, nor is it glamorous, but it pays dividends like nothing else on earth.

Becca said...

I wonder how many more of those baseball cakes you'll make him over the years! What a touching post! Happy belated-birthday to Sam!

Erin said...

What a sweet tribute to your little boy! Thanks for all of your sweet comments on my blog. You have a beautiful family Amber!

Erin said...

p.s. Your jewelry is beautiful too!