Thursday, August 27, 2009

Hic-ups, kicks, and stretching

With every passing week I continue to stretch one more pound, and as I continue stretching just a little bit more than I think is possible, I feel the never ending hic-ups of my sweet unborn child. I feel and treasure each kick to the ribs knowing that an upcoming day, sooner than I'll be expecting, I'll finally get to meet my sweet child that has been stretching and kicking me ever so lovingly. Some dread the stretch marks, and I don't care for the ones I've earned, but my loving husband also reminds me that those marks are of love and great sacrifice; that I'll forever be sexy to him, and although I can't fully comprehend this knowing what my body used to look like, I smile and am thankful that he does truly feel this way or lies well enough to make me still feel good about myself.

Other things that are currently brining a smile to my face is comparing the new born diapers next to Isaac's. It is amazing how fast the memory of itty bitty things come and go.

I have also decorated for Fall with the help of my Mom. I just love my things. I love sitting and looking at all I have accumulated from various places. There is no greater compliment than someone coming into your home for the first time exclaiming that it just feels cozy and that they want to just sit down and enjoy the scenery. I LOVE IT! Now some of you may be thinking that decorating for Fall came a little prematurely but I wanted to get it done before baby 3 came, and really, when you start decorating for Christmas in November there isn't a whole lot of time to enjoy Fall decor. Here are some of my favorite things.

With this chillier weather also brings the urge to bake non stop. There is nothing better than having your house feel just a bit crisp then adding the sweet aroma of fresh baked goodies. LOVE IT! Hope everyone is enjoying the change of weather as much as I am. What a wonderful time to add another bundle of joy to our ever growing family.

Friday, August 21, 2009

MY WATER BROKE....take 1

As the continuing days pass I try to think little of when my little one will grace us with their presence. I go to my weekly appointments, listen as my doctor says I am dialated to one cm. and go about my day thinking, "woo hoo one cm. that could take forever to progress into more." I explain to my anxious husband that NO, one cm. isn't far along for this time and that YES, I could be stuck on this number FOREVER! (He is a little anxious about when this can all go down and getting to the hospital in a timely manner.) Ahhhh, nothing much happens after my appointment and the day eventually ends and we go to bed.

The following morning I get up early to shower so that I can be fresh and awake for our scheduled play date with our new friend. I go to the laundry room, squat down to pull out my clothes, and stand up to feel something warm and wet.
"Jooooeeel", I call out, "I think that my water just broke." Seriously he says? "I'm pretty sure" I tell him. I squatted down to get my clothes and I stand up to find that my pants are wet. I tell him the clothes I want thrown in a bag to take to the hospital and that I am going to take a quick shower and get around. I call my doctor to let her know what had just happened. She obviously told me to come into the hospital but also proceeds to tell me that it could just be urine, that this happens to a lot of women who have had multiple births. I, some what defensively, told her that I think I would of noticed if I wet my pants; I really don't even want to go into the Dr. office or hospital unless I'm pretty darn sure it is what it is.

As more time passes I start to question what really happened and if I indeed did wet myself. Surely not. When I sit down to go potty I can tell that I am going, not anything like what I felt this morning. After showering and cleaning up I head to the hospital to have a simple test run to tell if any amniotic fluid has been leaking......NOT! What?! You mean I wet my pants and had NO EARTHLY IDEA that that is what happened. I'm not feeling mortified by now but rather feeling silly that I made such a mistake, I mean after all I had NO idea what I had done this morning. A learning experience for me and an added reason why Joel is pushing for an inducement so that there are no more false alarms. :o)

Note to self: ALWAYS and I mean ALWAYS go to the bathroom before squatting in anyway shape or form. Thank God I didn't do this at a retail store!

Wednesday, August 19, 2009

My Own Worst Critic

Being your own worst critic can be a blessing and a curse; throw you into hormonal tears or give you an exhilaration for life excited for the next thing to happen. For me at this very moment, sadly I must say, has thrown me into hormonal tears. I'm sure all you mothers out there have had this feeling at one time or another but I am upset with the fact that I'm sure I could be a better mother and am sad for my boys that I haven't been giving them my best. I feel I should be doing more playing, less web surfing, more crafts, less cartoon watching, more adventurous play outings, and less forming into hermits in my house!

Time whips by us all too quickly and I find myself just sitting. What is wrong with me?! I have two great boys whom I love more than anything and I let them sit and watch cartoons all morning while I do what I want to do. Selfish? Obviously so, or I wouldn't be having feelings of remorse of how I have been mothering lately. Granted I am just 2 weeks away from having my third child, but to be quite honest I have been feeling great, there is no reason for my laziness towards my children. I can be a mover and a shaker yet I know I haven't been giving my kiddos the attention and loving that I think they should have. What is funny is how your children give you unconditional love (especially at this young innocent age) regardless of the crappy job you think you are doing as a mother. I don't think there is anything more heart melting than your child yelling "Mooommmmy" with a million dollar smile running to you with arms wide open once you have gotten home from a 30 minute errand. You would think that you had been gone all day yet they are genuinely ecstatic that all you have done is come home to them.

So why then do I know that I'm not doing my best job but still find it hard to get out of the habit that has been made the past couple of months? Have I lost my inner child? I hope not. What a sad day that would be. Regardless of age everyone should keep the feeling of wanting to play. I want to change yet find it hard all at the same time. I am a good person. I do love my children dearly. I do know that I have a wonderful life especially when there are many more others out there that don't. I do love trying to soak up every bit of laughter, smile, touch....and yet I'm still sitting here today posting to my blog rather than being engaged with my boys. I'm not completely sure what is wrong with me but I do believe I need to to reread my soul searching books that ends up giving me a renewed sense of self and motivation to be a better person. Perhaps we all need a bit of recharging, regardless of how your life is going at any given instance I think everyone eventually needs to recharge themselves even if everything appears to be peachy keen.

Here is to my children a renewed promise to them that I will be a better mommy; a mommy that wants to build fun memories while I have the chance in this most important age that my children are in. If you have felt this way and have any ideas on how to recharged your inner being I would be open to your own personal tricks.

Tuesday, August 18, 2009


Oh goodness where to start? Other than being busy with making jewelry we have had some birthdays in the family starting with my Dad's the end of July. How cute are these pictures?!

Grandpa's Boys

Then it was my birthday the beginning of August. Can you see the little eyes peering over the table at the cake? I'm sure he'll really enjoy his birthday this year; I already can foresee cake all over in eyes, hair, ears, and just maybe in his mouth. :o)

I have been trying to get a great picture of Isaac and his pouty face but this is the best I have come up with so far. I really need to capture that great expression before he doesn't do it anymore, after all, as much as I don't want to admit it, Isaac my little baby is about to be bumped out of baby status in a matter of days or a couple weeks. Time passes much too quickly!