Wednesday, June 16, 2010

A Mother's Thoughts and Ramblings

It can be scary raising children can't it? For that matter it can be scary to go through life as adults let alone raising decent children in the process. The process of raising decent, caring, honest, humble children is a monumental task. I don't think a lot of parents out there understand the difference in "helping" and "crippling" their children. Todays world, expressed in books, magazines, TV, and even movies all tell us to hold our children's hands for so long, that now "adults" from 21 to, even more scary, 30+ are living at home with their parents.

You can no longer get an apartment right out of high school at age 18, you can't even get a checking account without a cosigner. What is happening?! Forget about taking out your own student loans too, even the way our government has set things up helps to cripple our children. You don't want student loans? Well what is the big deal with 'working' your way through college? For some reason, most folks these days think it is a race to get through school. It IS okay to only take as many classes that you can pay for. Isn't that better than rushing through school getting some degree that you won't end up using? Yes. I have many, many people I know that this has happened to. What a waste of time, effort, and money.  Instead parents say....oh no...I don't want you to work while you are going to school...going to school is your full time job. HA, this is probably part of the issue with Americans struggling with time management and good work ethic! A person isn't any more or any less based on if they have gone to college. There are many ways to make money, and they don't all deal with getting a college degree! Having one will probably make things a bit easier, but not necessarily make you more money or make you more happy. I guess that is all I'll say about that.

Isn't our jobs as parents suppose to include teaching them to leave home and find their own way? Obviously we all love the journey with our children, and our hearts hurt as each one flies the coupe, but that is the end goal isn't it? I mean, if your child can leave home, figure it all out, be self sufficient/contributing citizens, and be successful (however it is you measure success), shouldn't that be as proud of a moment as it was seeing your new baby for the first time? For me, that would mean I did a job well done.  

What happened to feeling pride that you can do it on your own, proud that you don't need your parent's money to get you by, proud that you are 'actually' an adult rather than 'pretending' to play the part?  Don't get me wrong, there were plenty of times that I used to think it was bogus that I had to work to pay for my extracurricular activities with my friends, paying for my own car insurance, gas, issues with my car, special shampoo I wanted, etc. Other kids didn't have to do that....then I went into the Navy. All by myself. No hands to hold, shoulders to cry on, not even Mom and Dad's house to stay in. Five years later once that commitment was done there are STILL people I know that have their parents pay for their cell phone service, dish out money if they are in a bind, move back home....are you kidding me?! There was an article in a newspaper the other day that my cousin posted on Facebook that had a woman quote, "My mother got married when she was 24 and she said it was hard work, and that it would be better for me to wait until I was in my 30's before I got married." Yes. Heaven forbid you work hard on your marriage (or for anything else for that matter) before you are 30! Wake up call! Marriage is hard work no matter what age you enter into it at, and you know what, this world isn't always fair. That is as much of an important lesson to learn as individuals as it is knowing when it is okay to ask for help.

As parents we want to be one step ahead of anything that could hurt our children, to prevent the nicks and bruises, so that we don't have to see the tears of our children; although as hard as it might be....we would be doing a disservice to our children if we didn't let them make their own mistakes and see and deal with the repercussions that are to follow their actions. The reason you see children/'adults' these days that are being coddled it isn't the kids' fault, it is the parents. Parents are teaching their children to run back to them when they are in a bind, and you know what I think that also shows some disrespect towards the parents, that are undoubtedly helping to manifest. I've read some blogs lately, Clover Lane and Views from my Kitchen Sink that have addressed some of the same things. (These blogs are a must read and are a couple of my very favorites!) There is a huge lack of respect with children and their parents these days and I'm doing everything I can to help NOT contribute to that growing problem. Manners are used in our home, polite tones are used while speaking to us, chores are done, and if they aren't there are proper punishments to follow. 

Call me old fashioned or a strict witch, but I love my children enough to say NO, and I'm so glad that my Mom and Dad did too!


Simple ways I fear are long gone. I'm too young to remember shops being closed down on Sundays, but I wish this was still the case. I wish work was regarded as it is in Europe. I wish the way of living wasn't made into a "live to work" life but rather encouraged to be a "work to live" way of life. Running after that extra buck isn't always the way to go. Extra work also comes extra stress, extra efforts on your body to remain healthy, lack of time with your family, and a lack in remembering what it's like to enjoy just sitting on your porch watching the clouds pass by and the trees blow in the wind.

Speaking of porches, the day on my morning walk with Bailey Boy I saw a great screened in porch that was completely ruined by noticing they had a TV out there. Come on! Are we so consumed in mindless television that we can't even escape it long enough to sit on the porch in peace to listen to the sweet songs of birds? Such a pity really.


And for those of you who really could care less in my interpretation of how the world has gone astray (and that is perfectly ok) here are some recent pictures of the kiddos on Sam's birthday enjoying the Slip-N-Slide and other randomness. :o)

Samuel's Turn!

This Can't Be Good....

Move Isaac, MOVE!!

That. Just. Happened!

(no children were injured in this process) :o)

My Bathing Beauty

LOVE Those Bunners!

Love From Great Grandma Roddy


1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Wow I feel so proud! What we were trying to teach you stuck! Look at how lovely you turned out! ;-)